


omnis amans amens

by FoxGlade



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Gen, Marriage Proposal, Zombie Apocalypse, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGlade/pseuds/FoxGlade
Summary: “Ron said he’s waiting on the other side of the park, they fortified the gazebo with the stuff Mary bought in the truck.” Ben yanks him into a sharp right turn just as a zombie lunges at them. “Fucking-! Of course King Falls doesn’t get walkers, or runners, no, we get joggers. What kind of lame-ass zombie is that?”





	omnis amans amens

**Author's Note:**

> two fics in one day because im just that good!! (im procrastinating) can you BELIEVE no one has written zombie fic yet?? GUYS ZOMBIES ACTUALLY EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE. TAKE ADVANTAGE.
> 
> title from an allegedly old roman proverb, meaning "all lovers are crazy". this fic is set in the same verse as These Inconvenient Fireworks, but thats not required reading. enjoy the ride, folks.

It’s weird, seeing the town this early in the morning. Normally Sammy’s up at this time of day, of course, but he’s always holed up in the studio up on the mountains, so he’s not around to see the way the orange streetlights reflect off the shop windows, or the nice breeze that ruffles the barely-visible trees in the park on Main Street. 

Right now, he’s not particularly focused on either of these things. Most of his attention is going towards the horde of zombies shuffling and moaning their way towards him.

“Come on, dude!” Ben yells. He’d lost his shovel when it had gotten stuck in a zombie’s chest cavity minutes earlier, and is now occupying his hands with dragging a similarly weaponless Sammy along. “Ron said he’s waiting on the other side of the park, they fortified the gazebo with the stuff Mary bought in the truck!”

The night had started normally enough - a call from Freddy Osbourne about some disturbances, sure, but that had been about grave vandalism, not grave escapism. Then more listener calls had poured in, one about someone seeing the ghost of their dearly departed granny, the next about a suspiciously shabby looking stranger shuffling along outside their house, until the whole town was being woken up under a deluge of the undead.

“She can’t come pick us up?” he pants. They’d ditched Ben’s car outside a house four blocks over to help out a lone teenager fighting off one of the zombies, and left it in favour of making as little noise as possible. Some plan that turned out to be. 

“No go, man. She went off-road to hit one of the fuckers and busted an axel on the curb.” Ben yanks him into a sharp right turn just as a zombie lunges at them. “Fucking-! Of course King Falls doesn’t get walkers, or runners, no, we get  _ joggers _ . What kind of lame-ass zombie is that?”

“I’ll take it over a runner,” Sammy says. He’s really starting to get a stitch now. He’s 35, he shouldn’t have to run ever. 

They’re almost at the entrance to the park when a swarm comes into view, stumbling out from behind a clump of trees. Ben pulls him to a stop, hand clenching and unclenching in his sleeve as he looks around wildly. Zombies behind them, zombies ahead.

“Hope you have a plan, buddy,” Sammy says with a nervous laugh. Ben shoots him a grin that makes him look like a tiny prey animal baring its teeth as a last defense.

“Sure,” he says, high-pitched. “Ready to run?”

“Of course,” Sammy sighs, and together they take off sprinting along the path to their left. 

The main path through the park is neat and paved, winding through some planted flower beds and dotted along the way with benches and shade trees, and ending in a lovely painted gazebo. The path around the edges of the park is dirt, worn down by kids doing unsupervised races while their tired parents nap in the grass. Every step crunches beneath their feet. Ben’s footfalls are faster and lighter, but Sammy thinks he’s making up for it with longer strides - they’re managing to stay together, even if Ben is pulling a little ahead. A few feet ahead. Okay, a lot ahead.

He’s about to call out and tell Ben to slow his tiny ass down when his friend’s steps stutter, and a second later he’s on the ground with a cry of pain. Sammy skids to a stop next to him and crouches down.

“Ben, hey, Benny, you okay? Ben!” Ben clutches his ankle and hisses. Sammy flutters hands over it frantically. 

“Shit, shit,” Ben breathes. Sammy tries to pry his hand loose but gets another strangled cry for his troubles. “It’s sprained, or broken, I don’t know, dude, get out of here!”

“What?” It doesn’t even process, with how ridiculous the request is. “I’m not leaving, come on, I’ll help you up, we have to go!”

“It fucking hurts, dude, I can’t walk on it, let alone run,” Ben says through gritted teeth. He looks up over Sammy’s shoulder and something in his face hardens. “Leave me here and run. Get to the gazebo.”

Sammy refuses to look at what Ben is seeing. “Get on my back,” he says instead. “I’ll fucking carry you if I have to, but I’m not leaving you here!”

“Thought you said I was too heavy these days?” Ben shoots back with a strained laugh. “Couldn’t carry me home drunk from Ron’s bar nights anymore?”

“I was just teasing, man, I can carry you, and we’ll get to the gazebo, and no one’s going to be stuck here waiting for the fucking zombies to get them!”

Something moans, a few feet behind Sammy. Ben starts shoving at his shoulder with one hand, the other still clutching his ankle, yelling, “Go, Sammy! I’m not gonna slow you down and risk them getting you as well!”

“Oh, you wanna do this?” Sammy asks. He lets himself get angry, angry enough to overwhelm the fear and panic crawling up his throat. “You wanna have the big heroic sacrifice moment all to yourself, huh?”

“Maybe I do!” Ben yells back. “Maybe I wanna make sure you live even if I can’t, because I love you, asshole!”

“I love you too, jackass!” Sammy shouts, and turns to stand and face the zombies coming at them. “Now who wants to get suplexed, fuckers!”

The swarm is almost on him now, and he braces to fight. He just has to keep them away from Ben, he thinks grimly. Nothing else matters. And even if he gets bitten, he should still have time to make sure Ben gets to safety before-

There’s a sharp warcry from his right, and then Emily Potter flies into view, swinging her autographed baseball bat that she keeps hanging over the library information desk into the skull of the lead zombie. It goes down like a bowling pin, and so do the rest of them as Emily ploughs her way through them like a quarterback at the Superbowl. Sammy’s mixing his sports metaphors, but he’s kind of in shock right now. And he really does know nothing about sport.

“Hey,” he hears Jack say as his fiance trots his way over to meet him. Jack is also panting a little from the exertion of the night, Sammy is vaguely validated to see. “You okay? Oh, shit, Ben, what happened?”

“Tripped,” Ben says miserably. Jack crouches next to him and rubs a hand over his hair. Ben sighs and leans into the hand, then continues, “Totally failed the zombie apocalypse.”

“Hey, you’ll get ‘em next time,” Jack says warmly. “This is basically just a test run.”

That snaps Sammy out of it. “Test run?” he repeats. He waves a hand wildly at Emily, standing exhilarated and whooping in the middle of a pile of zombies, and then out at the streets of King Falls. “This is a full-on zombie attack, Jack!”

“Nah, you just got the worst of ‘em,” Jack replies. He drops his own baseball bat (also Emily’s, clearly) and takes off his flannel, gently picking up Ben’s ankle and wrapping the shirt around it with quick, efficient movements. Good to know Jack at least remembered some of the first aid courses they’d taken in college, because Sammy sure didn’t. “We came in from the house, there aren’t any past the inner few streets. I don’t think the whole cemetery showed up tonight, guys.”

Ben muffles a groan of pain behind his hand, and Emily finally seems to snap out of her zombie killing rage. “Benny!” she gasps, also dropping to the ground beside him. Now it’s just Sammy standing indignantly while everyone crowds around his friend. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine too, Jack,” Sammy says, and is soundly ignored. 

“You saved me,” Ben murmurs. He looks up at Emily with lovestruck eyes.

“I was going to heroically sacrifice myself for you!” Sammy protests. Ignored again.

“Of course I did, Benny,” Emily says softly. Jack leans back so Emily can put a hand on Ben’s cheek. “You saved me, and I save you. That’s how it’s always going to be.”

“I believe you,” Ben breathes. He covers Emily’s hand with his own. “You’re always there for me. You’re always supporting me, and saving me. You’re so strong whenever I need you to be - Emily, I love you so much. Marry me?”

Emily laughs, high and delighted. “Yes,” she says, “yes, obviously yes!” She throws her arms around Ben and kisses him soundly. 

Sammy throws his arms in the air. “I literally offered to carry him!” he says to no one in particular. “How’s that for support? Where’s my proposal?”

“Aw, babe,” Jack says. He stands up from beside the newly engaged couple and walks over to Sammy. “Will you marry me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sammy grumbles. Jack kisses him on the cheek and Sammy rolls his eyes, but lets Jack hook an arm around his waist anyway.

Out to the east, the sky is starting to lighten. Elsewhere in the park, other townspeople are filtering out of their various shelters as the last few zombies are taken care of. 

“We should probably get back to the radio station,” Sammy says. “Let everyone know it’s safe.”

“Pretty much everyone’s already here,” Jack replies. He tightens his grip on Sammy’s waist. “You could basically get a soap box and call it a live show.”

Distantly, Sammy hears Pete Meyers say, “Worst zombie apocalypse  _ ever. _ ”

“Fuck off, Pete!” Ben shouts back. He’s still tangled up with Emily in the dirt. “You didn’t even do anything!”

“I boosted morale, shortstack!” Pete says. Sammy and Ben flip him off in unison.

“He’s right, though,” Ben sighs. “Sammy, not Pete. We should get back and-” He tries to stand and immediately collapses back to the ground with a hiss. 

“Don’t stand,” Emily orders, “we’ll find a crutch. Or Sammy and I can carry you between us. Sammy?”

“Oh, he doesn’t want me to carry him,” Sammy says. Ben scowls.

“I panicked, dude, what do you want?” he snaps. But his expression blanks out when Jack simply kneels down beside him again and scoops him up, seemingly effortlessly, in a bridal carry. “O-h. Thanks.”

Sammy crosses his arms and glares at a patch of grass a few feet away. “Great,” he mutters. “Emily can save you, but I can’t. Jack can carry you, but I can’t. Maybe I can do some menial chores for you?”

“Sammy?” Ben says. Sammy looks back at him. He’s cradled in Jack’s arms but leaning towards Sammy expectently.

Sammy holds onto his petty anger for approximately half a second before he steps forward and lets Ben throw his arms around Sammy’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug. It’s a hilariously awkward angle, and Sammy ends up with Ben’s face smushed into his collarbone, with one hand cradling the back of Ben’s messy curls and the other resting between his pointy shoulder blades, but as it turns out, it’s exactly what he needs to finally release the tension of the night.

“Thanks for not leaving me, dude,” Ben mumbles, barely audible. Sammy rubs his back and breathes out, closing his eyes.

“Never,” he says, equally quiet. 

The four of them stand in silence for a few moments, Ben and Sammy clutching each other tightly, Emily standing beside them with a hand on Jack’s shoulder, Jack holding Ben with a long-suffering expression. 

“Hello? Anyone gonna get these zombies off the grass? I just mowed this three months ago!” Pete Meyers says from across the lawns. 

“Fuck off, Pete,” all four of them shout in unison. The nice moment thoroughly broken, they all look at each other and break into laughter. Ben lets go of Sammy, and Jack hitches him up higher in his arms, and Emily says, “Come on, let’s go home.”


End file.
